Supporting a bereaved parent, sibling or family after the death of a child is one of the hardest
things any of us may ever face. Many parents, carers and family members desperately want
to help but feel frightened of saying the wrong thing, causing more pain, or intruding at an
incredibly sensitive time.

Child loss and child bereavement affect whole families, including parents, grandparents,
siblings and close friends. Whether the loss happened during pregnancy, infancy, childhood
or adolescence, the grief can be overwhelming and lifelong. Knowing how to support
someone when a child has died, what to say, and what not to say, can make a meaningful
difference.

In this expert guest article, Child Bereavement UK, a charity which helps families to
rebuild their lives when a child grieves or when a child dies, shares compassionate,
practical guidance on how you can offer support to someone experiencing the devastation of
child bereavement. Their advice is grounded in years of professional experience supporting
grieving parents and families across the UK.

At Family Sustainability Hub, our mission is to help parents, guardians and families find
trusted expert support, charities and resources for every stage of family life – including
the most difficult moments. This article is part of our expert-led content designed to help
families feel less alone and more informed.

Expert Guidance from Child Bereavement UK

When someone you know is bereaved of a child, our instinct is to reach out to them.
However, sometimes the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing can prevent us from being
as helpful as we’d like.

Child Bereavement UK shares ways you can be supportive to someone you know who is
experiencing the devastation of bereavement.

Acknowledge Their Loss

Acknowledge their loss: The single most important thing you can do to help someone who
has been bereaved of a child is to acknowledge what has happened. You might say: ‘I am so
sorry to hear about your child’, or even: ‘I’m so sorry. I just don’t know what to say’. If you
don’t see the family in person, consider writing a card or sending a message; using their
child’s name if you know it can be a thoughtful thing to do.

Listen to a Bereaved Parent or Family

Listen: A very special thing to do for a friend bereaved of a child is to take time to listen. Try
not to say, ‘I know how you feel’ as everyone’s experience is unique, even if you have been
through something similar. Simply acknowledge their feelings and listen and be led by them
if they’re not yet ready to talk about their child.

Avoid Clichés When Supporting Someone Through Child Bereavement

Avoid cliches: It may feel kind and comforting to say things like ‘You’ll get over it’ and ‘time
is a great healer’ or suggesting someone ‘stay strong’ or ‘be brave’, but to a bereaved parent
this can feel as though you are minimising their loss; bereaved parents we have supported
tell us they don’t want to ‘get over’ their much-loved child.

Offer Practical Support to a Bereaved Family

Offer practical support: Consider offering practical help like preparing a meal or offering to
care for other children in the family if you know them well, such as by babysitting or taking
them to the park, for instance. It can be difficult to ask for support when you’re overwhelmed
by grief so it helps to be specific with your offer if you can. You might say: ‘I’m going to the
supermarket this afternoon – can I pick anything up for you?’

Keep in Touch After the Loss of a Child

Keep in touch: There’s often a lot of support around when someone is first bereaved, but
this can reduce as time passes. Try to keep in touch on a regular basis, even if it’s just to
send a text or to suggest you meet for coffee.

Look After Yourself While Supporting Someone Who Is Grieving

Look after yourself: Spending time with someone who is grieving often puts us in touch
with our own losses. It’s important that you get support so that you are able, in turn, to help
your friend, relative or colleague.

Further Child Bereavement Support and Resources

For more support, guidance and information on supporting a bereaved friend or colleague,
contact Child Bereavement UK’s Helpline on 0800 02 888 40 or visit
www.childbereavementuk.org

Thank you to Child Bereavement UK for providing this advice.

Supporting someone who has lost a child can feel daunting, but even small acts of kindness,
understanding and consistency can have a lasting impact. There is no perfect thing to say,
and no way to take away the pain, but showing up, listening and acknowledging their loss
matters more than you may realise.

If you are a parent, carer or family member looking for additional bereavement support, or
if you are trying to help someone through child loss, you are not alone. Our parenting
directory brings together trusted charities, counsellors, therapists, helplines and family
support services to help you find the right support at the right time.

You can explore our directory for:
● Child bereavement charities and helplines
● Grief counselling and emotional support for parents and siblings
● Family mental health and wellbeing resources
● Specialist support for pregnancy loss, baby loss and childhood bereavement

For advice and guidance, contact Child Bereavement UK’s Helpline on 0800 02 888 40 or
visit their website for guidance and resources.

If you or someone you love is navigating grief, remember that help is available — and you
don’t have to face it alone.